My husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary recently. It was a celebration of not only love and commitment, but also endurance and perseverance. Yes I know it was only a year! But even a year of staying married is a big deal these days; we are living at a time where if you master the art of flicking your thumb to the right, you will be sorted! My apology for offending those who enjoy the right-flicking scene and have miraculously found true love through it. Of course at the other extreme there are marriages that face unavoidable tragedies and circumstances which are hard to resolve, so no offence there either (by the way, here is a glimpse at my incessant and annoying need to apologise for having an opinion).Continue reading →
Recently while browsing through a selection of movies on Netflix, I happened upon a Bollywood movie. Usually, I stay away from Bollywood cinema, as they tend to lack depth and are riddled with gender role stereotypes. However, when I saw the description for Pink, I was intrigued. It seemed to veer from the typical Bollywood story of romance and thrills. Additionally, with 136 minutes run time, it seemed to be reasonably short for Bollywood standards, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and watch it. I have to say besides the melodramatic portrayal of a retired lawyer played by Amitabh Bachan and some unrealistic court scenes, the movie’s depiction of how assault victims are treated in South Asian culture is very accurate. We have seen this many times, not just in Asian cultures, but here in Western society as well. People tend to blame the victim for their assault rather than the perpetrator for their actions. Continue reading →
The first book I have read this year was Good Girls Marry Doctors. It’s an anthology of stories from South Asian women. The theme is obedience and rebellion. There are 26 stories. It’s easy to read the book in one day. Each story is different and each women has their own take on what it means to be obedient and rebellious. I found the book to be about survival, strength, and courage. It gave me comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this. Continue reading →
Again we hear a story about a teenage girl who has died while on her period. It’s tragic that this still happens even when it has been outlawed. Nepali society needs to do a better job ensuring the safety of our girls and woman. They don’t deserve to die because you are uncomfortable with them menstruating.
We’ve covered this topic before and it’s one that many of us talk about frequently. I am angry and sad. THIS does not need to happen.
I have written a piece before about how we should have more courage to stand up to the atrocities we see in our societies, but lately I have been thinking about battles within our families and communities. Recently when I was at a relatives’ house, their youngest daughter told me a story about her interaction with another male family member. In that story, she said that one of her uncles had asked her to get her something from the kitchen, she said no and told him that he should get it himself. He was an abled bodied man who could get whatever he desired. I was proud of her because she stood her ground. However, it made reflect on conforming and confronting in our families. Continue reading →
After taking a few days off, buying train tickets months in advance, I realised last weekend my Dashain was likely to be blocked. Ahhh, the perks of being born a girl in a Nepali Brahmin family. However, having not seen my family in months, I decided to trek to the colder and rainier part of England.
As I am nearing my 30s, I find myself contemplating a lot about life accomplishments and what it means to be truly fulfilled and content with my life. This sort of crisis seem inevitable for anyone going through major life changes such as death, big move, divorce, pregnancy, birthdays, etc. Most people I have talked to have expressed similar dilemma and concern regarding where they are in their lives no matter what age; wondering if they are happy with what they have accomplished so far in life or if their career serves a bigger purpose than just to have financial security. At some point most of us start to wonder if we “sold out” on our childhood goals and dreams and if a younger version of ourselves would be proud of what we have become. Continue reading →
Marriage has uncovered – with full force – personal vulnerabilities that I had not anticipated. At each step I have been overwhelmed with an intense need to question and subsequently reorganise my sense of personal identity. At the very core of this struggle has been the question of whether or not to adopt my husband’s surname. Continue reading →