Transitions

By Nibriti D

2014-11-28 13.04.43

 (Photo Credit: Nibriti D)

When I moved to the US, I moved to a small town in Iowa called Fairfield.  I joined middle school with my brother and my sisters came to the US when I started high school.  When I started looking at colleges, I decided that I wanted to get out of Iowa.  Not quite sure what fueled it but I had a really strong urge to just get out of Iowa.  I submitted applications to a lot of out of state schools and was accepted by some of them.  I had applied to University of Iowa as well (as back up, of course, but I did not want to stay here).

Unfortunately, I could not leave Iowa.  I did not have my green card at that time so I was unable to receive governmental financial assistance to attend school.  I had to pay for my education on my own, which is difficult enough to begin with. Having to pay out of state tuition would have been nearly impossible.  I decided to accept my U of I admission and moved on with life.  I got a puppy, which sort of made up for having to compromise.  After I graduated, I wanted to move to the West Coast because of the possibilities of getting jobs as an International Studies major.  But due to the timing of my marriage and buying a house, I had to let that idea go.  Instead, I took up a job at the university hospital and settled.

My husband knew I wanted to get out of Iowa but circumstances did not allow it.  He suggested I start prepping for further studies so we could move accordingly. I signed up for my exams and started to ‘study’ for them.  I signed up twice for the GRE (graduate school entrance exam), but had to cancel both times because of major family issues.  Someone, somewhere, seriously did not want me to get out of here!  I broke down.  I told my husband that I had lost all hope of ever getting out of our town and doing more with my life.  All I could see was bus ride, work, bus ride, home, dinner, sleep and all over again.  For months I went through a state of depression.  Was it the snow?  Was it the dreary cold?  Was it the fact that I could go nowhere with my career?  Maybe all of it?

Somehow, I managed to sign up for the LSATs (law school entrance exam) and a rush of suggestions started pouring in from family and friends.  “Move after you get accepted to a school, why move now?”, “Once you finalize, it would be so much easier for Amit to get a job and for both of you to move.” Unfortunately, I did not look at it that way.  I saw that if I waited to get accepted and then move, I would give up again.  There were a list of things that would not let me go: out of state tuition, Amit finding a new job, selling the house, etc.  It would just be oh so easy to continue going to U of I Law School (once accepted) than trying to uproot and move to, say, North Carolina.  Enough was enough!

Amit looked to transfer within his company to a different state.  I continued getting a lot of suggestions but this time I chose to let them pass.  My husband confirmed his position in Georgia and we got ready to move.  My sister’s wedding was fast approaching but I was determined to not let anything stop us this time.  Amit and I decided that he would move before the wedding and start the new position and come back to visit during the wedding.

I am in Georgia now.  Have I been accepted to Georgia State Law yet?  Nope.  Any other law schools in Georgia?  Nope.  I have had offers in other states but not here.  Is my house sold yet?  Nope.  Does everything I had in my house fit in my apartment?  Nope.  Do I have everything in order in my life right now?  Nope.  So, what do I have?  I have my first step.  Yes, absolutely, nothing is in order or confirmed but we took that risk.  What if we end up moving to a different state for my school next year?  Well, I at least experience a new state for a year and had the chance to look at what it had to offer.  We will not know for sure until Spring 2015 as to where we will end up next year but we have the opportunity  to taste Southern hospitality.

There are always objections to change and obstacles in our paths.  If we had not moved this year, we would have gotten comfortable and settled further in Iowa.  It gets so much more difficult to make changes in life once we get more settled and comfortable.  Maybe I would have gotten into U of I Law and in a few years had kids.  It would have been so much harder to leave behind friends and families at that point.  Yes, Amit and I have our families in Iowa and it would be convenient to stick around but sooner or later that regret would have crept up closer “We should have tried to see and do more when we had the chance.”

There is so much more to see and do out there.  I have never visited the West Coast and I have lived in the US for 11 years!  I have never been to Florida or Arizona.  I tasted hush puppies for the firs time the other day and there are so many more things I have yet to try.  Chicken and biscuits for breakfast?  We have our whole lives to settle down but we have NOW to see the world (or at least most of the United States).

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3 thoughts on “Transitions

  1. Richa P says:

    Transitions are so hard! It took a lot of strength for me to move to Japan for a job and to Nepal for a job. I took a chance and it was great! Good luck in Georgia and getting into law school!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Good luck!! I quit my comfortable highly financial secure job to be in Nepal and I now earn 90% less than what I used to but everyday I am glad I made that decision to move out of my comfort zone because I have experienced so many things here..

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