*Two short blog entries before 2014 is over. Happy New Year everyone!
Wise Compliments by Sanchita N
After hours of applying and reapplying my make up, I finally got ready for a wedding party. At the wedding, I observed women complimenting each other on their saris, make up and hairdos. A bejeweled teenager came over to me and remarked, “That bitch is wearing perfect eye makeup. I will have to YouTube makeover techniques tonight. By the way, I adore your earrings.” After contemplating these comments for awhile, I figured out one disgusting flaw in our culture- the culture of insincere complementing.
Yes, we all enjoy receiving praises. “You look gorgeous,” “You are beautiful,” “Great body,” and much more. These comments lift our mood instantly. Even though we are aware how some people use compliments to win quick friendships and sometimes for even more selfish motives.
All around the globe, there are women who are always striving to accentuate their external features, to make an impression and to gain compliments. This is ridiculous. Believe me; we all know deep down such attachments to superficial beauty is meaningless. We all know that in the long run, people always remember your actions, not your appearance. Us women are capable of doing far more productive things than earning compliments for our face full of makeup. Waste of time, energy and MONEY.
It doesn’t mean we should stop caring for our body. Eating healthy, exercising and staying fit is essential for a healthier and happier life. However, you cannot live your life on a false hope of getting attention with a makeup mask and expensive outfits. We are living in hypocrisy and most importantly we are giving wrong messages to our little girls. We received this
It doesn’t mean we should stop caring for our body. Eating healthy, exercising and staying fit is essential for a healthier and happier life. However, you cannot live your life on a false hope of getting attention with a makeup mask and expensive outfits. We are living in hypocrisy, and most importantly we are giving wrong messages to our little girls. We received this ostentatious culture from our elders and we are passing it on to the next generation without giving it much thought.
Imagine a party where women drop comments such as; “My dear you are so hard working, you are an inspiration,” “You have such a positive outlook in life,” etc. We can start to develop a culture of complimenting inner beauty and empower young ones. This way, girls can still wear make up and dress fashionably, as a choice but not as a compulsion. I feel that Nepali society needs a huge paradigm shift where girls accept themselves the way they are physically. We need to inculcate confidence, self-esteem and sense of purpose in life instead of encouraging them to look like cover models.
One of my social worker friends ridiculed my drawer full of makeup and said, “Instead of purchasing makeup, why not buy food for orphans!” Maybe I do, but I also enjoy wearing make up. We don’t all need to go that far. However, us women can use our time to read, exercise, and instill creative routines and use minimal time in front of the mirror. Don’t forget, time spent on makeup equals time spent removing it too. Should we not focus on contributing to the world and making it a better place for our daughters?
Next time, you have to make a small talk in a party just for sake of courtesy; rather than complimenting on the woman’s shoes, you can simply say, “You are such a nice person.” No doubt, the lady will definitely make at least one effort to be a good human being. More importantly, the toddler by her side would learn a beautiful lesson about the profound strength of inner beauty.
Words have power. Your compliments have super powers. Use them wisely.
(Photo credit: xtina5645)