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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: One Year

By Bandana Upadhya

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Photo Credit: Navin Mistry

My husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary recently. It was a celebration of not only love and commitment, but also endurance and perseverance. Yes I know it was only a year! But even a year of staying married is a big deal these days; we are living at a time where if you master the art of flicking your thumb to the right, you will be sorted! My apology for offending those who enjoy the right-flicking scene and have miraculously found true love through it. Of course at the other extreme there are marriages that face unavoidable tragedies and circumstances which are hard to resolve, so no offence there either (by the way, here is a glimpse at my incessant and annoying need to apologise for having an opinion). Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: One Year”

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Book Review: Good Girls Marry Doctors

 

By Richa Pokhrel/@nepalichoriblog

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Photo credit: Aunt Lute Books

The first book I have read this year was Good Girls Marry Doctors. It’s an anthology of stories from South Asian women. The theme is obedience and rebellion. There are 26 stories. It’s easy to read the book in one day. Each story is different and each women has their own take on what it means to be obedient and rebellious. I found the book to be about survival, strength, and courage.  It gave me comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this. Continue reading “Book Review: Good Girls Marry Doctors”

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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Namesake

By Bandana Upadhya

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Photo Credit: Navin Mistry

Marriage has uncovered – with full force – personal vulnerabilities that I had not anticipated. At each step I have been overwhelmed with an intense need to question and subsequently reorganise my sense of personal identity. At the very core of this struggle has been the question of whether or not to adopt my husband’s surname. Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Namesake”

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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Woman: Division of Labour in Marriage

By Bandana Upadhya

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Photo Credit: Navin Mistry

Two months after being married to the man I loved, I painfully watched him re wash some of the dishes I had washed, while also listening to him telling me that I should not have put raw meat on THAT shelf of the fridge. Suddenly and surprisingly, I was overwhelmed with feelings of having failed as a woman. It was as simple as that. I began to feel tearful and immediately removed myself to a private corner of the house. Whilst I was secretly and shamefully welling up, I began to feel confused about my reaction. Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Woman: Division of Labour in Marriage”

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Losing Red

By Usha

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(Photo credit: Rhijuta D)

She is wearing white from head to toe. Relatives, neighbors, friends, strangers, and whoever sees a woman in white, they have sympathy and pity for her. They understand that her husband died and that going forward she is expected to dress a certain way. In the history of Hindu culture, women were forced to be burnt alive along with their dead husbands. I do not know when that changed, but a women is still compelled to live a certain way after her husband dies. She isn’t supposed to wear red anymore and she isn’t able to participate and perform certain tasks and pujas. Most importantly, she can’t get married again, even if she was a bride for less than a year. Continue reading “Losing Red”

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Pressures of Being a Single Woman

by Anonymous
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(Credit: Nepali Chori)
I got asked to participate writing in this blog about marriage and the pressure that comes with it. Why? Because I fall in the category of Nepali women in the mid-to-late 20s who are not yet married, not a norm. What I write here is only my opinion and will be different from others that are on the same boat and I hope others write their feelings and opinions on this well.
A societal norm is being married by early 20s. Unfortunately, in many parts on rural Nepal, even now, girls are married of really early, even as young teenagers. I believe things are somewhat different in the city where education is also pushed but still social expectation is for a girl to be married fairly early.

Continue reading “Pressures of Being a Single Woman”