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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Dear Mother-in-law

By Bandana Upadhya

Photo by Sourabh Virdi on Unsplash

Dear mother-in-law,

What do you think of the possibility of us trying to be friends? Is that pushing it a bit? Ok, how about if we just get to know each a bit better, maybe start from the beginning?

It has been almost three years now since we began our official relationship. We were thrown into the deep end, with no prior experience to draw from. Yes, you were an existing mother and I an existing daughter, but we were suddenly expected to construct a new motherly-daughterly-bound-by-law relationship. This relationship was unfamiliar, ambiguous even. There was no contract to sign, no consent sought, or consideration given. The relationship was imposed upon us. Me, I was reluctantly participating in the relationship. The thing is, reluctance often leads to resentment and resistance. That is where I was at. Perhaps you were too.   Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Dear Mother-in-law”

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Postponed Another Moment

By Bandana Upadhya

Artist credit: Shiloh Sophia

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” my frontal lobe repeated, the panic starting to travel from my brain to my throat, heart, and stomach. I escaped to the obvious place, the bathroom. A bathroom holds many secrets for a woman; its four walls can tolerate any truth, any amount of frustration and endless tear-laden and fear-driven moments. My husband shouted from the bed, “are you alright?” I don’t think I said the ‘Oh no’ out loud, or maybe I did. I think he was worried because I ran off, and even the least attentive man would notice their wife run away in the circumstances in which I ran. ‘No I am not alright,’ I wanted to scream. It usually takes me some time to reveal my vulnerabilities, so I pretended not to hear. He asked again. ‘Just leave me alone!’ I wanted to shout this time round. Instead I said, “I am fine”. The “fine” was unhelpful but it gave me a little more time with the mess in my head.   Continue reading “Postponed Another Moment”

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Citizenship

By Richa P

nt4518

(Photo credit: RUMA RAJBHANDARI)

Have you guys been keeping up with everything that is going on with Nepal finally drafting the constitution? The main issue for us women is the citizenship through mothers portion.  What are your thoughts?

Here is a breakdown of FAQs done by the Chaukath Feminist Blog. It is a very helpful read pertaining to citizenship.

I recently read this piece originally published in Nepali Times. It has different views about what the government should do about citizenship.

Continue reading “Citizenship”

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The Breadwinner

By D.N

A couple of months ago,  I read a couple pieces on SetoPati that have renewed my feelings on working women and their status in society.   It is 2015 and women are severely judged on their choice to be mothers. What if tomorrow if I find out that I am infertile, will I never become a complete woman regardless of my achievements and accomplishments in life?  And if I say that I do not want to have a baby at all, does that mean that I, knowingly and willingly, gave up my right to be called a ‘woman’?  Yes, the society we live in has norms and I understand that sometimes we have to conform to these, but at what cost?  Will my success always be defined as ‘a working mom’ and not ‘a successful career woman’?  Is it so wrong to want something different in life than just the norm? Continue reading “The Breadwinner”

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Who Am I? I Am A Super Woman

 

 

By Nibriti D

To me, being a woman means being a superhuman. One of my favorite YouTubers is SuperWoman and that is because I honestly think that every woman is a Super Woman. Not only are we capable of changing diapers and stocking up the pantry with the correct juice boxes but we also have this magical ability to locate that missing sock or charger.

No, I do not have any human children at the moment but I am a mom. I  have an almost-3-year old 4-legged furry creature to whom I provide unconditional love and attention. My husband and I take turns taking care of her, I take care of her in the mornings and he takes care of her in the evenings. She reminds me every day that I am in fact a superwoman. In the mornings, I take care of her before I take care of myself. I go to work and come back with her as my priority: her food and potty times come before mine. I may be exhausted but I know that she needs her walk/exercise. Even as I am writing this, she is sitting next to me as a reminder that I have done something right in my life. And to me that is what being a woman means: just doing something that you know in your heart is right.

Continue reading “Who Am I? I Am A Super Woman”