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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Dear Mother-in-law

By Bandana Upadhya

Photo by Sourabh Virdi on Unsplash

Dear mother-in-law,

What do you think of the possibility of us trying to be friends? Is that pushing it a bit? Ok, how about if we just get to know each a bit better, maybe start from the beginning?

It has been almost three years now since we began our official relationship. We were thrown into the deep end, with no prior experience to draw from. Yes, you were an existing mother and I an existing daughter, but we were suddenly expected to construct a new motherly-daughterly-bound-by-law relationship. This relationship was unfamiliar, ambiguous even. There was no contract to sign, no consent sought, or consideration given. The relationship was imposed upon us. Me, I was reluctantly participating in the relationship. The thing is, reluctance often leads to resentment and resistance. That is where I was at. Perhaps you were too.   Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Dear Mother-in-law”

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5 Things, 5 Years

By Richa Pokhrel/@nepalichoriblog

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My 5th wedding anniversary in approaching this Friday, October 20th. I was 26 years old when I got married on a beautiful horse ranch in California surrounded by our immediate families and two friends. Three years later, we went to Nepal to celebrate our union. Honestly the time has gone by really fast, next year, it will be ten years since our friendship. Marriage is not always easy, it requires work to make it successful. That work can mean different things for different relationships and happen at different times during marriage. It’s kind of like a roller coaster; sometimes it’s working itself to the top, other times it’s coming quickly down. In any marriage (and any relationship) there are two people who are always growing, but at different paces. I’ve been reflecting on those 5 years and I wanted to share what has worked in our relationship. Continue reading “5 Things, 5 Years”

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Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Namesake

By Bandana Upadhya

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Photo Credit: Navin Mistry

Marriage has uncovered – with full force – personal vulnerabilities that I had not anticipated. At each step I have been overwhelmed with an intense need to question and subsequently reorganise my sense of personal identity. At the very core of this struggle has been the question of whether or not to adopt my husband’s surname. Continue reading “Diaries of a British-Nepalese Bride: Namesake”

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My Nepali Wedding

By Kanchan G

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(Photo credit: Kanchan G)

I recently married my long time boyfriend. We personally chose to do it courthouse style since we both fall under the category of “non religious people”. However, when my family decided to have a traditional Nepali ceremony, I wasn’t too thrilled. I expected it to be over the top, relatives and family friends I had neither met nor had little or no contact with to be there, and for me to partake in traditions I did not care for or relate to. I had always found weddings to be a bit over the top and just a way for people to show off lavish trends. All the stress and planning that is related to weddings isn’t all that alluring either. On top off all that we had decided to have the wedding during Dashain and only had two months to organize it.  During these two months me and my family fussed and planned on different details of the wedding. We found a local Hindu temple to hold the wedding ceremony, looked for multiple venues to host the reception, while doing all this from across the country of the wedding location. Most of the planning was done by my aunt and grandmother, which I was very thankful for, seeing how I did not have half the stress most brides do.

Continue reading “My Nepali Wedding”